Wishful Thinking
My wishful thinking is that the child within me never abandons me.
One of these last days the winds were playing tag with leaves. The leaves were going every which way. I had met the postman on our front deck. As I was coming in and bringing the front door with me a lone leaf scurried across my bedroom floor. I saw the leaf but didn’t really look until I bent down to pick it up and then took a closer look. I will be! The leaf was a twin to the cartoon mouse character, Stewart Little. Just keep your nets to yourself and not over me. I assure you I am just fine.
There are so many small entertaining splashes in the day-to-day hectic pace . . . if we just keep our minds open to them. The child within me is a hoot.
Onto a more serious note. Thump. Did you hear it? One of my prescription bottles hit the garbage and it was still quite full of 50m pills. I will no longer be taking Zoloft. It is one of many drugs used for depression. Not to worry, I have been decreasing the dosage for some time. No cold turkey.
In 2021 I experienced a stroke as well as open heart surgery. During that same time, Dennis began experiencing Osteomyelitis, a severe bone infection in his left foot. As the toes were removed one by one, the dressings on his foot needed changing every day. With only my right hand and arm being useful, the left hand and arm could only help pin down the clean dressings until I could get the tape unrolled and applied. It was physically and emotionally exhausting. The daily dressings continued until mid 2023. The daily care made the difference of keeping Dennis’ leg or amputating it above the knee. I was under a doctor’s care the whole time while I adjusted to my new lifestyle as well. The Zoloft was a means to coup.
I had been kicking around doing more with less in regard to medications. Carrie mentioned at one point, it may have been after Nicholas was born and she experienced post-partum depression and had the experience of being prescribed Zoloft. In part that is caused by a drastic hormonal change in estrogen and progesterone. Hormonal changes happen every month in the body of a woman, but none more drastic than after a pregnancy. It may affect brain activity, behavior, physical and mental function. Carrie commented the Zoloft did not do a good thing for her.
So . . . in the last month, I have been taking high absorption Magnesium Glycinate 350, one tablet every morning. It helps with bone health, muscular health, enzymatic function (respiratory health, food digestion and nerve function and relaxation). I have also cut down the Gabapentin from 800m per day to 400m, also for nerve functionality. After the stroke, it had always felt as if I were touching a low dose from an electric fence as if my left side was still trying to make functioning connections. My hope is to no longer be taking the Gaba at all. I am taking it slow. I maintain, I will stick to only one of the Magnesium’s per day. I feel I may still need to take it in the morning to help with whatever the day throws at me. When my bottle of 240 capsules is gone, I will have to give a report on what my body is telling me.
Oh, by the way . . . I like the fact that I can continue nurturing the child within me.
With that I will take my leave. ♥