Voids in Our Lives Do Not Need to Define Us

The winds come every day and I wonder what will blow in. Dennis is forging ahead with spring plans. Yesterday the Koi pond was filled with water. This morning the strong north winds had blown some of the water flowing from the pump in frozen art forms on the wall of the potting shed.

I have not done any yard work as yet. The past weeks have been mixed with warm temps and rain. Now I see that the perennials are peeking through, so I will pass on taking any leaves out of the gardens until I can see where I am stepping.

In the meantime, I am contemplating a new project in the sewing studio. Taking my time always pays off in the end. Did I know I would have such excess of time for decisions?

About the time I retired seven years ago, the dynamics between my daughter and I changed. The active relationship I had enjoyed with her for her first 43 years was no longer bringing her happiness.  She was a “stay at home mom” and I was looking forward to spending relaxing visits and not the kind that had to be planned around my work schedule.  I wondered for some time what would fill the void.

The time we spent away from Stauffer Avenue on Saturday is the answer: family.  I have extended myself to strengthen the relationships that I enjoy with my aunts.  What woman doesn’t enjoy whiling away a phone conversation with a fellow female conspirator: recipes, patterns in crocheting and quilting, the latest easy way to clean the home and sharing the best authors of mystery novels.  I have found these women to be priceless.  Saturday was the funeral of Aunt Dorothy.  At the age of 95, she could carry on a phone conversation that may very well last 45 minutes.  The funeral gathering was full of family.  Celebrating Dorothy’s life led to connecting with many of my cousins as well as two of my aunts.

I wonder, would I have recognized the opportunity to help my friend Lorraine as she begins her path with pancreatic cancer if not for having dealt with a change in the dynamics within the family?  I am what I have always been and I am enjoying my life.