Every once in a while a request comes via a private message on Facebook. It brought about a visit today that began at 9:30 this morning until 2:30 this afternoon. My sister passed away in mid September of this fall and today her youngest son, Larry, came to see me. We have always been amicable, but never really nose to nose visiting to any depth. Today was about his Mom and his family. Larry stated he didn’t really know why he had traveled the miles, but he knew it was what he needed to do and where he wanted to be today. Perhaps I was the one person that had seen my sister’s family grow from a time when his mom and dad had first started a family. Over the years they were a farm family of five. Today, there were no answers or resolutions as to the dynamics that Larry’s family has operated under during the last 50 plus years. There may never be. It was important that Larry could visit openly with me and not have to spend the time or dialog to express himself about what was on his mind. Lots of good memories were shared and more often than not the wondering about “When do you think it started or how it started” and “Will my family ever be able to sit down for a holiday meal and be happy to be there together?”
Since my sister’s death the cards for his family have all been laid out on the table including those that had never been played. No more hiding issues. My heart went out to him. I assured him that because of things from his families past, he had the opportunity to keep the cards laid out for his family of five so he and his wife, Jennifer, will always be open to receive whatever his three children bring to them with an open and kind heart. Not the directors of his children’s life, not the fixers, but the life long supporters. Oh there were many tears shed on both of our parts today over many cups of coffee, sandwiches and cookies. I would not have passed up this day with my nephew for anything. We both needed it and appreciated it. Dennis and I sent him packing north across the miles with hugs and promises to spend more time together. Now it is time for our highway to lead us to his home sometime in the future. I do know that Larry will be just fine.