Me, Myself and Memories

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  Noreen 3:46 pm on December 10, 2018 Permalink  

  There was Something Lurking 

  Over the last several days the sewing studio has really been finishing up some great projects.  It was a great feeling knowing that there were no UFOs, aka: unfinished projects. This morning I came down and was about to turn on all the lights when I felt something lurking.  I pushed the feeling aside.  I knew I had about 45 minutes before I would have to head upstairs and swap out the laundry from the washer to the dryer.  There was a pattern I had dug out to use some of my darker scraps for a scrappy quilt top.  The 45 minutes flew by and laundry was calling.

  My habit is to put the laundry in the dryer and then get out enough clothes hangers as to what the laundry load required.  Getting the shirts out of the dryer and immediately hanging them up has just about done away with any pressing.  As I walked into the closet, the feeling of something lurking was strong . . . about as strong as sniffing a jug of vinegar.   And . . . there it was.

  A bright red shopping bag.  A bright red shopping bag that used to sit beside my favorite chair in years past.  A bright red shopping bag that got moved once upon a time to make room for a family gathering.  It got moved right into recesses of the closet.  The bag had sat next to my chair so each night I could crochet a block for a future afghan.   Each block was crocheted with a different pattern.  Where had the years gone?  I believe the moment I was patting myself on the back for having finished all of my started projects, the bright red shopping bag had an opening to get it to the forefront of my mind.  It had done the trick.

  

  Blocks of many patterns that have stood the test of time to be joined for a finished lap robe.

  I brought the bright red shopping bag down here into the sewing studio.  It was rather like opening a mysterious gift.  Sure enough.  There were 24 completed blocks.  Perhaps enough yarn in the bright red shopping bad to make just as many more.  It did make me sad.  Over the last five years, I have not been able to use my right wrist as I once had.  The orthopedic surgeon said the wrist is much like the cone for the ice cream, meaning the hand, to sit upon it.  My ice cream had slipped off of the cone.  I can do many things with my right wrist, just not as well as I used to.  I have learned to eat soup with my left land.  I have learned to use my left hand often when the right hand tells me “Sorry lady, not today.”

  We are not crying over spilled milk, or for that matter, yarn that may not be used for crocheting.  I fired up the steam iron and gave each precious block a bit of steam for them to be blocked.  I will weave the blocks together with the remaining yarn and it will make a wonderful lap robe.  That wonderful lap robe, less the bright red shopping bag, will be right next to my favorite chair.  In thinking about all the crocheting I have done since I was a young bride in Riesel Texas, I have nothing that I saved for myself . . . up until now.  Orlin had taught me to crochet after we were married, living in Riesel, Texas, to help me pass some time being so far from family.  Oh for great memories.  There will be no more feelings of lurking to be had.

   
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  Noreen 4:01 pm on November 29, 2018 Permalink  

  A Sunny Day Brings Much to Enjoy 

  Waking to full sunshine just speaks to what kind of day it is going to be. We had light snow off and on all yesterday afternoon. The driveway was completely white when I went to bed. This morning the snow glistened in the bright rays of the sun. When I toddled to the bathroom and looked out the east window, Dennis had the leaf blower going on the far east patio. Yup . . . in his PJs and slippers.  Go gettum cowboy!

  A Grammie can’t be rushed in the morning. There are things that need to be attended to right off the bat. After I had my paperwork done in the bathroom, I got on my jeans and flannel shirt, suiting up to help what I knew was Dennis’ intention . . . clearing the remaining patio and the 90′ driveway. After a bit even the electric leaf blower gets heavy.

  When we got done it was about ten in the forenoon.  It  seemed fitting that a bowl of oatmeal was needed. As I poodled around in the kitchen, my mind was right back to the farm in Boon Lake Township.

  It was usually ten in the forenoon when I could come into the house and stay for the morning with my part of the chores having been taken care of.  I am not sure how I managed to keep two wee ones busy in the house while I had helped Orlin with the barn chores . . .  much like what Dennis and I had just finished. Not a real good comparison, but thinking that the 50 years plus in between then and now . . . chores is chores and it rang true. It came to me in a flash: many, many trips back and forth from the barns to the house.

  Channel two had children’s programs for most of the morning. Carrie with puzzles to work on, could be counted on to not venture far from Kevin who was in his playpen, or from the screen soaking up what Mr. Rogers was doing. Kevin couldn’t get out and neither could Carrie lift him out of the play pen.  We couldn’t go wrong with Cheerios as the snack of choice for either of them.  There may even had to be a diaper change in between the the chicken barn chores and the cow barn chores.  It was all taken in stride.  Neither of my two children were ever out of my reach for more than a few minutes at a time.  The best part of the late morning was me shutting off the babysitter, aka: television.  With favorite blankets in hand we headed for a rocking chair that had been Grandma Schafer’s.  Both kids on my lap we read stories.  The chair had been an overstuffed chair that had been made into a rocker.  We had room for the three of us with room to spare for favorite stuffed animals and plenty of books.  Kevin generally had snuggled in so deep, sleep was his worst enemy.  It didn’t matter if he was sleeping, Carrie and I read on until she got squiggly and wanted to play with her dolls.   

  Could all these wonderful warm memories have been decades ago?  They are as fresh as that glistening snow had been on the driveway.  The oatmeal was good that Dennis and I shared.  The snow on the driveway is gone.  My memories are never gone, just resting in the back of my mind ready to spring forward in a heartbeat, keeping me company or flooding in when least expected. I love that.  As I grow older, I know I may be alone once in awhile bit I will never be lonely.

   
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  Noreen 3:59 pm on November 5, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Michael ( 11 )   

  What to Do 

  My youngest brother is now at peace.  No more surgeries, no more treatments, no more pain.  It’s hard to wrap my head around it.  Michael was at his home with JoAnn when Michael’s fight ceased. Michael has always been the one for in depth conversations about family, things that actually mattered to his family or mine.  We left the fluff of the latest news to someone else.  Our history mattered.  Our feelings for each other mattered.  Our concerns mattered to each other.  We shared life.  How thankful that he and I got to share one on one this summer several times.  Priceless.  When I would look into his blue eyes, my blue eyes were reflected in his.  When I held his hand, the pressure from his hand warmed my heart and soul.  For a time today I didn’t carry a tissue, I had a clean white dish towel in my hands.  My tears were nothing but feelings.  Real feelings.  How grateful I am that I have them.  I will always have those warm fuzzy feelings about Michael. I will heal in time.  It’s the time of hurt that I actually cherish.  It is my loss that I am cherishing.  

  What to do?  I contacted everyone that I knew who would want to know of Michael’s passing.  JoAnn and their daughters have plenty to contend with today.  I struggled with phone conversations.  It was easier to text or send an email.  I didn’t apologize about my tears.  They were mine to shed.

  This afternoon had really become heavy time.  Pacing isn’t a good thing.  I decided to go down into the sewing studio and find something to occupy some time, some mindset.  I needed to have something in front of me to concentrate on.  Nothing complex.  Not much that would need concentration.  Just something going on in front of me.  I started up the embroidery machine with a stitchery that involved nothing but electricity and the lowest speed possible.  I sat and watched the stitches fill the fabric and let the stitches fill an emptiness.  

  The day is getting better.  I have a supper to fix for Dennis and me.  I have the will to make good use of this day.  This day will get easier so much faster for me than Michael’s Joann, Erin, Laura and Michaela.  They are immersed in putting items in place for closure.  Their time for pure grief will be yet to come when there will be the emptiness that each will feel in their own right.   

  What to do?  Enjoy the peace that Michael now has.  Enjoy the impact that my little brother has made in my life.  That is truly priceless.

   
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  Noreen 3:55 pm on September 4, 2018 Permalink  

  Sure Nuff 

  In 1954 the Sure Nuff Company in Minneapolis must have had an extraordinary business.  We got in on one of the goodies when we got a request on Sunday to come and help Kevin and Kersten lighten the load in their garage that they are working on.  We were assured the box would fit into Dennis’ red pickup.  It did as long as we left the end gate down.  At that time we did not look into the box.  We set the box into the patio porch and that is where I read the label off of the original box as it came from the Sure Nuff Company.  Today Dennis couldn’t take it anymore.  The two miles of rope that the box was tied up with released the contents.  In all his glory, standing tall was Santa Claus in person.  Kevin had mentioned that it was motorized but not so much in today’s time.  

  Dennis’ son-in-law came over this morning and I exited stage left.  I was curious but I also realize when puzzles need to be solved, too many questions can cause a situation.  Dennis came in and gave me the go-ahead that I could come out.  Santa Clause was rotating at the waist and waving with one arm.  I did send photos off of my camera to Kevin and Kersten at various points.  I was remiss by not taking photos with my camera.  Oh right . . . I admit it.  I have no idea how to get photos off of my camera onto my computer, thus very few photos are taken with my camera.  

  
  Tom took his leave when he was assured the motor had been checked and was working.  The clothes had been taken off and now it was my job.  With a soft brush on the vacuum, I began taking off a few layers of dust on the velvet.  Surprising the fabric was in good shape, still vibrant, but fragile.  I did repair one place on the jacket at the neckline where I knew the hair would cover it after all was said and done.  The batting that was pressed cotton, pressed at one time, was taken out around the shoulders.  It literally fell apart.  I substituted new quilt batting.  It was a struggle to get the clothing on as the arm that moved with wiring couldn’t be manipulated to any degree while getting enough fabric for dressing the other arm.  It was a tight struggle without putting too much pressure on the fabric.  As I look at my photo, I see that I need to adjust the belt and the front of the jacket a bit.  My next quest will be working on portions of the beard.  The beard is fiberglass.  I can attest to that as I have some itches on my hands.  The main objective has been met.  Santa twists at the waist and waves with genuine spirit.  None of the four footed observers were impressed.

  Needless to say the laundry I had started earlier was on hold.  As the box is original that will be the next project to make sure Santa has his own dressing room while he is mellowing out.  We do tackle what is presented to us and have a ball doing it.  What happens is that Dennis gets going and before you know it, he has worked me out of a project and is looking for the next task.  This project was amazing to work with, something that is 64 years young with many years yet to put the zing into Christmas.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

   
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  Noreen 12:53 pm on August 26, 2018 Permalink  

  Making Choices 

  

  In the hayday when all things would grow and bloom. It was a labor of love each spring. I was a bit younger as well.

  

  Reality sets in after too many seasons of rain flooding the square garden. This was my choice and it is always a good thing to be able to make those decisions before someone else needs to. I had a really good run with the square garden. I will be content working with the plants around the Maple tree and Lilacs. One small plant in the forefront will find a home under the Maple. August of 2018 bids adieu to flowers and we will try our hand in getting grass going.

   
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  Noreen 1:23 pm on August 5, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Ken, Thomas   

  Storms of August 

  There haven’t been that many days in August and already we are scratching our heads as to what may be left for Mother Nature to spring on us.  High winds are always a concern when there are mature trees.  Our neighborhood was at one time a pasture on the edge of town.  Yesterday’s Maple limb that came down didn’t damage anything.  Our potting shed and patio were spared by a good 10 feet.

  Dennis’ son trucks for Hartland Trucking.  Though Ken lives in Arizona the dispatching takes him far and wide with him being out on the road for sometimes as long as three weeks.  Yesterday Ken surprised us as he was headed with a load to Owatonna and had been given a layover so he could spend time with family.  This morning Dennis went with his son in the semi to take the load to Owatonna and to also pick up a load somewhere in close proximity.  Ken’s truck was brand new in November and this would be a great time for father and son to revisit their trucking days when Dennis had several trucks on the road.

  I didn’t have anything planned and was enjoying a cup of coffee and looking through some mail.  I couldn’t believe my ears.  There was a chainsaw sawing and it was in our backyard.  News travels fast in a small town.  Dennis’ son-in-law was busy making the sawdust fly.  Thomas loves his chainsaw and takes advantage of using it whenever possible.  The down side . . . when the chainsaw stops, Thomas is done with the job.  He doesn’t help pick up the results of his sawing.  I did ask him to hook up to the two wheel trailer and bring it up to the garage as the tree dump will be the recipient of the cut up limb.  There was no reason for me not to begin loading the branches.  Taking several breaks in between, the trailer is loaded and the area has been raked and no worse for the event.

  As I walked back to the garage to help Thomas hook up the trailer, I could not believe what I had not seen earlier. The large Hackberry had a large limb that had been split from the main trunk.  It was either hit by lightening or the wind tapped into a weak spot.  Oh my gosh!  Thomas looked at it and I told him to not even think about tackling that.  That is a job for a professional.  One that has a bucket and has insurance.  No way am I going to be living with guilt on my hands if Thomas got hurt.  It’s not a one man job.  I have already put in a phone call to a fellow for him to come and take a look and give an estimate.

  With everything handled and under control I came in for a glass of water and to peel off my soaked clothes to begin cooling off.  We had a storm come through at 3:30 this morning.  The wind, lightning and thunder was intimidating.  What it left behind was two inches of rain and high humidly . . . and a splintered Hackberry.  I knew I was getting warm while I loaded the trailer but did not realize just how warm until I was done.   Getting on dry clothes, I looked out and low and behold Ken and Dennis with the semi loaded were parking at our curb.  Ken will be using his dad’s pickup to pop in and see some family and friends before getting back into the semi and taking off for Chicago on Monday.  It has been a full day for this Grammie and I am so thankful to be able to take each day in stride and get it done.   It is a wonderful thing to have help when it is needed and I don’ t take it for granted.  I make it right with doing sewing and quilting when I hear a hint of what is wanted.  Right now I have a bag of t-shirts that Thomas’ daughter would like to have made into a quilt. Working with titanium knees and shoulders I am cautious with whatever I do.  Knowing when to take a break is important.  Some jobs might not get done in one day.     

   
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  Noreen 2:49 pm on February 9, 2018 Permalink  

  I Never Gave it Much Thought 

  The sun is bright with enough wind that I hear the wind chimes in the Evergreen on the northwest corner of the house.  It was a minus three this morning when I got up at eight.  Dennis had already been out to the garage porch to enjoy his coffee, his breakfast snack that he takes with him and of course to check on his cats.  Dennis was already in his recliner for a nap when I tiptoed to the kitchen. I put a kettle on to get some eggs boiling while sipping the first cup of coffee for the day.  After a cup of coffee with the boiled egg cooling, I never gave it much thought.  I got dressed and suited up to clear the drive of the snow that had come over night.  It was a good three inches of soft fluff that could easily be pushed with my snow pusher.  I think this was the first time it had taken me long enough to get the job done that my fingers began to feel the cold when I came in.

  A second cup of coffee sure hit the spot while I warmed up.  I never gave it much thought.  I went down into our pantry and got a can of white chicken meat to make a batch of chicken mixed with boiled eggs and mayo for a noon snack.  Tasting as I went I knew it would go over good.

  Dennis is awaiting a surgical date for his right carotid artery later this month.  I think many naps are a great thing.  After checking on Dennis I headed down to the sewing studio.  When I began the project for Dennis’ granddaughter, I never gave it much thought about managing a king sized quilt.  I knew I could pull on memories of Mom and her Riverdale Quilt Club.  A small group of ladies met in each other’s homes and worked on quilts for each other.  Sandwich lunches and afternoon coffee and by the end of the day it was unlikely there was much left to quilt.  Many of the quilts were hand stitched and some were tied with yarn depending on what the owner of each quilt desired.  I don’t have a quilt club.  I don’t have a group.  I have my ingenuity.

  

  Since the fall reorganization of the sewing studio, maneuvering tables makes the work area oh so doable.

  Dennis did have an appointment out at the clinic for the afternoon.  Me myself and I decided to get things rolling for Erin’s quilt.  I never gave it much thought to take my sewing machine station down and make sure I could get around all sides of the church tables.  With the sun shining through the south windows we now had a plan.  I dug out all the weights that we have used and abused over the years.  I have my huge bag of safety pins ready.  When Dennis returns home, I will use his help to get the quilt top onto the layered batting and backing. 

  I go through my days never giving it much thought that I can’t achieve what my plans are.  One step at a time.  Sometimes it is one step forwards and several back, but . . . failure is not an option.  

   
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  Noreen 11:12 am on December 31, 2017 Permalink  

  One last Time 

  Today was the day to doing everything one last time and calling it “done in 2017 .”  Where did the 2017 year go?  Just a bit ago I went outside for a few minutes and pushed the light covering of snow off of the driveway. Sometime during the night it flurried.  The full sun made the snow crystals shine as if they were diamonds.  Yes, I realize that they encouraged senior citizens to remain indoors as there was a report of -40 degrees wind chill.  Zippered from head to toe, it took me longer to suit up than what I stayed outdoors.  I feel better if I get outside and take in all that has been given for a new day.

  Mid year the Stauffer Avenue homestead began to have some challenges.  Dennis was having mini strokes, sometimes twice a day.  Every test imaginable and . . . each time nothing.  Every test but one . . . carotid neck arteries.  I could not believe that such a simple ultrasound had not been thought of by the doctors.  During the time that Dennis was having problems, his days were spent either sleeping or trying to get from one chair to another, many times needing help if he had slipped to the floor.

  As my adult life had been spent working with numbers, appointments and legal issues during my time at the courthouse it was easy for me to take care of some of our needs since I have retired.  I was not prepared that Dennis had checked out of all sense of what was needed each day.  Our little home became a full time assisted living unit.  One day at a time, one seizure at a time.

  

  These are the smiles that Dennis and I want to continue enjoying the entire 2018 year. Happy New Year!

  I thank the good Lord that Dennis didn’t put off a routine six month eye check up.  That is when the eye doctor suggested the carotids to be checked.  That in itself was a challenge as there needed to be an order for the ultrasound and it wasn’t coming from a M.D.  October 17th Dennis had the left carotid that was blocked 94% surgery.  The right carotid at 74% blockage would have to wait.  After October 17th, his brain had not had that much blood supply in some time.  It has been a path back to some semblance of normality.  There are signs that the right artery needs to be taken care of.  It’s not quite as frightening as we now know what and where the problem is.  Checking with the surgeons, February of 2018 will have Dennis back in the OR in the Mankato Hospital facility.  It’s not that far off.  Is it easy for him knowing what he has ahead of him . . . no.  It is a wonderful thing knowing that it is his decision and we are not left with what might be if it is not followed up on.  What would follow up is a stroke that may leave this ole cowboy not being able to enjoy his patio porch or his little red pickup and God forbid his cats. 

  Yes, this last day of 2017 is a good thing for Stauffer Avenue.

   
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  Noreen 5:25 pm on December 23, 2017 Permalink  

  Many Years – Many Memories 

  Today was a day of putting on the radio in the sewing studio listening to Christmas music and cleaning up of wandering threads, spools of thread in various colors and oh my gosh . . . stray pins.  It was almost necessary to go out and get Dennis’ magnet that he uses when we have had a construction project going on the outside of the house.

  I have been taking time to e-mail some of my cousins with wishes of a Merry Christmas.  I do keep up with several of the younger generation as well.  Two of Orlin’s nieces sent heartfelt messages when they received the quilts Dennis and I sent.  Remembering a Schafer Christmas at Grandma Schafer’s in Hector . . .now that should just about take biography of some sort.  Ester’s children, I swear to God, were not born with filters when it came to verbalizing.  It may be in the genes, God help us.  Frank, Elroy and Eugene were the three that could really make the rafters of the old home shudder.  Everyone had an opinion and the sarcasm came as easy as breathing.  Times long gone, many Schafer family members are gone.  There are many more wonderful memories than not.  The nieces and nephews are scattered, but with e-mails it’s still a wonderful thing to send out Christmas wishes.  I would like to be a mouse when in receiving such a wish, what memories are evoked within themselves.  It’s all good

  Several of my favorite Christmas’ were when we were farming and Carrie and Kevin were quite small.  Christmas morning was always a fiasco when the kids came down and Santa had been there.  My parents popped over one Christmas morning and we were all still in PJs.  It didn’t matter.  Kevin was strutting around in his dad’s new cowboy boots trying to stay upright.  Carrie was engrossed in the features of the Barbie Doll camper.  It’s all good.

  My dad loved Christmas.  He was handy in the workshop and he gave my mom all the time she needed in her sewing room.  Instant coffee was always ready with a Christmas cookie or two to go with it.  Having grown up in a predominately German speaking home, “San-tee Claus” is how “Santa Claus” came out of Dad.  Maybe the German dialect influenced it.  Doesn’t matter, I can still hear him say it.  It’s all good.

  I still have a few more e-mails to do this evening.  I can never wish too many Merry Christmases.  Dennis and I have been in the San-tee Claus mood for some time.  We’re just hanging out, taking it one day at a time and feeling very humble and thankful.  It’s all good.

   
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  Noreen 1:02 pm on November 30, 2017 Permalink  

  Too Soon – Too Fast 

  

  Megan was determined to use the sewing machine when she would come to visit. As luck would have it, we both were able to sit side by side and stitch and visit. Priceless.

  My grandchildren are growing up too soon, too fast.  I realize this is the design of our Lord’s world.  I would like to drag my feet a bit, but it’s not going to happen.  December 2nd, Megan will be 14.  Dennis and I have grown up with Megan teaching us all about what it was to have her ideas brought out, her ability to express herself and best of all endless hugs.  With Carrie and Megan spending some time with us on Stauffer Avenue over the Thanksgiving weekend, we couldn’t get over her sense of responsibility and adapting to being in Jr. highschool.  Best of all was her enthusiasm in creating sewing projects that were spot on.  Eden Prairie isn’t that far away from Stauffer.  A bit under two hours and the trip is complete.  Megan commented that she wouldn’t have her license for driving for another two years but there was more sewing with Grammie in her plans.  It cracked me up when she commented that she might have to learn the Metro Mass Transit for visiting us in the mean time.  Megan honey, I don’t think the Metro Mass Transit will ever reach that far. 

  

  This last weekend was a joy watching Megan man my updated sewing machine . . . and she nailed it. These fourteen years have gone way to fast, way too soon.