Me, Myself and Memories

Updates from November, 2018 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

• 

  Noreen 5:14 pm on November 14, 2018 Permalink  

  Now this is what I call an Indian Summer type day. The breeze from the south was brisk but at 45 degrees I could have just as well been in the south Carribian Islands. I really have no idea where they actually are, but today was a gift.

  Our day included a trip to Mankato. Hair cuts, pedicures and a luncheon out. It was a surprise to see Kersten as we came out of Great Clips. See! It was a great day to escape home boundaries.

  As we were having lunch in Perkins, Dennis explained to me that he had a shelf to put up next to his bed for all the goodies that come with the CPAP machine. He would be in charge of getting it cut complete with rounded corners and also be in charge of the sanding. Now then . . . what did I have in mind for brackets? I looked out the window and there was Hobby Lobby. I decided to check out it.

  I have never seen such a collection of hardware for shelf brackets, drawer pulls, etc. The sign that caught my eye was 50% off. I would have loved to have come home with the brackets that resembled spurs. The downside was that it would only have taken a shelf width less than what we needed. I settled for some brackets that look like rusted angle iron. Perfect for the ole cowboy’s wall. It will be my pleasure to get the pine board stained and sealed. After all there is elfing to be done on Thanksgiving.

  When we got home it was the perfect opportunity to get two of the eight west porch windows washed. I’ll keep pecking away at them. The Lime Turbo spray that Kevin had gotten for me for water spots worked perfectly. The Windex was the final swipe. Yes! We can see out of those two west windows.

   
• 

  Noreen 5:48 pm on November 13, 2018 Permalink  

  My oh my! What little snow we had on the driveway crunched under foot. I guess 7 degrees above will do that.

  I am down to washing the eight windows in the west porch of our home. Oh yes, they tip in. The cold wind also comes in without warning. Perhaps Thursday will be the day to wrap up the 2018 raid on dust bunnies here at Stauffer Avenue.

  Dennis had made a safe return Monday afternoon from retrieving his grandson and the laid up pickup. Today Dennis went and checked on the progress. The progress is taking place in nephew Brett’s concrete shop. Ryan’s grandpa Swede is a retired mechanic. Dennis said from the looks of things there were 100 items to be moved, removed and dealt with before the main problem could be attended to. Dennis came home and commented that they were short some of the tools that Kevin works with everyday.

  Tomorrow is haircut day. I can hardly wait. The white fuzz is getting hard to tame.

   
• 

  Noreen 5:36 pm on November 11, 2018 Permalink  

  The plan to get going this morning by six, worked like a charm. Dennis was on the road with the diesel and trailer rig by 6:20 heading to Silver Bay to retrieve one broken down pickup and a grandson. Of course he had a little brown paper bag to travel with him to go with his coffee. I was quite sure the drive would take six hours. Once I knew that his daughter would be up at Silver Bay, I gave Suzie a call to let her know when Dennis had left and if she would please let me know when my ole cowboy arrived.

  Once I had coffee there was no way that I could catch a snooze. There is always a load of laundry to take care of. Laundry isn’t what it used to be. Push a button and away it goes. The top of the dining room table seems to attract extra stuff without fail. Most of the stuff hit the recycling bin.

  I have been at a stalemate with fall cleaning. The stumbling block was the four large long windows that wear mini blinds. Ugh! They are great for allowing light to come into the house, privacy and catch every snippet of household dust and lint in the home. In a perfect world, once every year I would buy four replacements, put them in the brackets, recycle the old ones and call it fall cleaning. O.K. I fess up. I tried that. The mini blinds now available have hardware that is totally foreign to what Dennis and I have put onto our window woodwork. So much for cheating on the cleaning.

  There was nothing to do but put hot water and dawn dishwashing liquid in the bathtub and do the rub a dub, dub on each of the four beasts. I prepared the floor around the tube with lots of older towels. I took off my good slippers and put on an old pair of socks. I knew what I was in for. With any luck I would come out of this with my hair dry.

  It is now supper time and the four windows have been cleaned, the blinds are whistle clean as well as the curtains have been washed and put back on. I stood in the middle of the living room floor and did the sniff test. Nailed It!

  An update on Dennis and his mission of the retrieval. He got to Silver Bay by one this afternoon. By the time the truck was loaded and secured, the fellows have decided to stay at daughter Suzie’s overnight and start out in the morning. I have checked on the livestock, filled the water dish, put out food and last but not least cleaned the litter box. With four critters the litter box is important.

  I am going to settle in and perhaps pop some popcorn as I have several shows I enjoy on PBS Sunday evenings. Dennis is safe. I am safe. Life doesn’t get any better than that.

   
• 

  Noreen 5:53 pm on November 10, 2018 Permalink  

  There are reasons that this ole team on Stauffer takes a day off once in awhile.

  Today we traveled to Mankato for great grand Lux’s fourth birthday. It was totally a Frozen Princess event. Lots of little ones in the mix to help celebrate.

  Dennis and I were just about to have a cup of coffee, sit back and watch all the commotion when Dennis got a phone call.

  Fast forward it is 5:30 and there is a huge diesel pickup and trailer in our driveway. I have my alarm set for 6:00 a.m. for Dennis. Grandson Ryan went north to Silver Bay for deer hunting. How could he not want to go and see his parents and sister’s family and still get deer hunting in. The way Dennis explained it the spring on the lifter . . . or was it lifters . . . broke on his pickup. Ryan works for his uncle Brett the “crete” man. Uncle Brett would have gone and brought Ryan home, but he is deer hunting in the northwest part of the state. Grandpa Dennis to the rescue. Ryan always has time to help out his grandpa when he is needed. Turn around is a good thing to help out.

  As I said, we rest up for a reason on Stauffer Avenue.

   
• 

  Noreen 6:00 pm on November 8, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Michael ( 11 )   

  It feels so good to be home safe and sound after being away for a short time of only 32 hours. My brother Michael was laid to rest today. The family, friends and neighbors who came together was wonderful. It was also overwhelming. I feel weary and spent. That is not a bad thing to feel. I know being home with Dennis I will regenerate after a good’s night rest. I also realize that Michaels’ family doesn’t even know what it will feel like after the weeks and months being on watch 24/7 as Michael was enduring, sometimes struggling the cancer treatments. Their time to regenerate and heal will be to each in their own time in their own quiet and space.

  When Dennis and I got home we were diligent getting our suitcases unpacked. The second item was getting our PJs on. I know I will be settling in for the remainder of the week with not a single need that will demand more of me. Quiet and rest and contemplation until such time that I feel like pulling up the boot straps for what next week may bring.

  The blessing of the pastor’s at the close of the service said it all, “Blessed be Michael’s memory.”

   
• 

  Noreen 10:19 am on November 7, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Michael ( 11 )   

  Hmm, I was so sure we would have Indian Summer. As Dennis and I started picking up the yard and getting ready to button it up for winter, we never had a chance to work without a jacket and gloves.

  When I opened my eyes this morning I was lying on my right side in bed and facing north. For some time I watch the boughs of the large evergreen swaying in the wind. It was tranquil. It was comforting. Several Morning Doves flitted among boughs. Peaceful.

  Today Dennis and I are traveling north. We will be at Michael’s viewing this afternoon and evening. It seemed to be the wisest to stay overnight in Hutchinson and travel on to Glencoe for the funeral tomorrow. No doubt it will be a time to take in some somber visitors as well as those who can bring to mind a remembrance that will bring a smile and no doubt laughter. It will be a good thing.

  Dennis is preparing the patio porch for his kids to spend some time alone. Fresh litter box, plenty of food and water will be at hand. On the down side is if they all decide to make an appearance into the patio porch before we leave. The cats have the run of the yard at their will. They generally show up at curfew time to spend the night in their boxes. If some need to spend the night outside, it will be just that much sweeter when we return tomorrow towards evening and the open doors will welcome them home.

  I feel good this morning. My headache has subsided. It’s a good thing.

   
• 

  Noreen 5:36 pm on November 6, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Dad ( 5 ), Elvera ( 3 ), Michael ( 11 ), Mom ( 5 )   

  What a blustery day. You know the wind is strong, steady and howling when the stubborn Lilacs let go of their leaves. We have a wind chime in the Evergreen on the northwest corner of the house. It dinged and clanged to the point I was sure it would end up on the ground by daylight.

  Yesterday was a frenzy of phone messages, text messages and emails wanting to be informed and supportive of Michael’s family. Today was a quiet day. Not even a single phone call with a political agenda. I did speak with Michael’s wife, JoAnn, this morning. Her three daughters, their husbands and five grandchildren are keeping her quite busy. In time to come the quiet will close in, reflections as she looks at aspects of their home. How could it not.

  I admit I have had a nagging headache since Friday. Our bodies do not lie to us. We get busy and shove things to the back of our brains. We can exhaust ourselves cleaning house and washing laundry. We can throw ourselves into mind challenging stitch patterns. You think you are fooling yourself . . . Not! You can’t fool your body and brain. I have tomorrows yet to come to let reality sink in of the loss of Michael. Within time, that nagging headache will become a soft feeling in my heart when I think of him. I know that I will heal.

  It took me an awfully long time before I could speak or think of the loss of my Dad and Mom without tears seeping down my checks. My sister Elvera was taken suddenly. No one to call and say “Do you have the recipe of Mom’s for such and such recipe?” “When are we going to check out that new quilt shop that they call The Old Alley Quilt Shop?” I am so fortunate. Many people do not have those treasures that have touched them to their core. I have had, I do have . . . my life is rich beyond measure.

   
• 

  Noreen 3:59 pm on November 5, 2018 Permalink
  Tags: Michael ( 11 )   

  What to Do 

  My youngest brother is now at peace.  No more surgeries, no more treatments, no more pain.  It’s hard to wrap my head around it.  Michael was at his home with JoAnn when Michael’s fight ceased. Michael has always been the one for in depth conversations about family, things that actually mattered to his family or mine.  We left the fluff of the latest news to someone else.  Our history mattered.  Our feelings for each other mattered.  Our concerns mattered to each other.  We shared life.  How thankful that he and I got to share one on one this summer several times.  Priceless.  When I would look into his blue eyes, my blue eyes were reflected in his.  When I held his hand, the pressure from his hand warmed my heart and soul.  For a time today I didn’t carry a tissue, I had a clean white dish towel in my hands.  My tears were nothing but feelings.  Real feelings.  How grateful I am that I have them.  I will always have those warm fuzzy feelings about Michael. I will heal in time.  It’s the time of hurt that I actually cherish.  It is my loss that I am cherishing.  

  What to do?  I contacted everyone that I knew who would want to know of Michael’s passing.  JoAnn and their daughters have plenty to contend with today.  I struggled with phone conversations.  It was easier to text or send an email.  I didn’t apologize about my tears.  They were mine to shed.

  This afternoon had really become heavy time.  Pacing isn’t a good thing.  I decided to go down into the sewing studio and find something to occupy some time, some mindset.  I needed to have something in front of me to concentrate on.  Nothing complex.  Not much that would need concentration.  Just something going on in front of me.  I started up the embroidery machine with a stitchery that involved nothing but electricity and the lowest speed possible.  I sat and watched the stitches fill the fabric and let the stitches fill an emptiness.  

  The day is getting better.  I have a supper to fix for Dennis and me.  I have the will to make good use of this day.  This day will get easier so much faster for me than Michael’s Joann, Erin, Laura and Michaela.  They are immersed in putting items in place for closure.  Their time for pure grief will be yet to come when there will be the emptiness that each will feel in their own right.   

  What to do?  Enjoy the peace that Michael now has.  Enjoy the impact that my little brother has made in my life.  That is truly priceless.

   
• 

  Noreen 7:02 pm on November 4, 2018 Permalink  

  Today has felt like a very long day. I have not heard anything from Michael’s family at the hospital since this mid-afternoon. Dennis and I have both been at the spot that Michael’s family is now. Hurry and wait. Wait and pace.

  I found myself keeping busy in the sewing studio. I didn’t even find myself frustrated when I had to throw in the towel of a “what if” that didn’t work out. Dennis was cleaning up some older pieces of metal and glass, making multiple trips up and down the basement steps and then out to the garage and back inside again. Denis and I know how painful the waiting game is . . . what a moment of hope can feel like . . . when a finger of fear creeps in. Letting go . . . let God. It’s easier said than done. The day is ending but the night can seem long.

   
• 

  Noreen 5:58 pm on November 3, 2018 Permalink  

  Not doing well this evening. I checked in with my kids and know they are o.k. Michael needs all my attention right now with prayer. His family is with him. God speed his recovery. I know he has more to do here with us.