A Post Script on ‘So Not Prepared’
As Paul Harvey would tell us, it is the rest of the story thus far.
As I told you, yesterday was Dennis’ day to take in a trade show 40 miles from home. When the police officer brought Dennis’ son here yesterday at noon under the influence, the agreement after a phone call to Dennis was that Jeff was to stay in our heated garage porch until Dennis got home. I gave Dennis credit. The trade show lasted until five and Dennis came home after the show closed. This had been his plan, and Jeff or no Jeff, he meant to have it. Does it sound awful? No, this was not our first rodeo with Jeff. Jeff was dropped off here wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. The day did progress to getting colder by the hour. The heat in the garage porch never goes below 40-45, so I knew one of two things: Jeff would not freeze to death and he had been here in the garage porch before, he knew where the thermostat was.
When Dennis came home, I stayed in the house and dad and son would have to look at each other face to face. By this time Jeff was sober, but he would not talk to his dad. Sullen silence is all Dennis got. Earlier in the week, Dennis and I had made plans to venture over to see nephew Brett for a visit. With no response from Jeff, Dennis told him to either stay in the porch till we got home or find somewhere else. Jeff probably would have been gone when we got home, if the phone in the porch had been in working order, and by this time the snow was beginning to fall and the wind was fierce. We did stop and pick up a takeout food package for Jeff as we knew he had not eaten for some time.
When we got home I went directly into the house and Dennis headed back to the garage porch with food for Jeff. When Dennis came in and ask me to get the sleeping bag from the attic, I knew what Jeff was in for. Not willing to talk to the dad, who he had asked to be taken to in his hour of need by the police officer, was the last straw for my ole cowboy Dennis. This may very well have felt to Jeff as if he were homeless. Well . . . to wrap up that scenario, no one from Watonwan County Human Services knocked on our door to take us in for inhuman treatment.
This morning, Dennis took coffee out to the garage porch and the plan was that Jeff would have to spend the day with Dennis as Dennis took Jeff along to the last day of the trade show. Via phone communication, after the trade show, Dennis will take Jeff to a determined location between here and there and Jeff and the gal that he came to St. James with will finish this drama . . . not. The only thing Dennis knew for sure, Dennis would be coming home alone.
There comes a time when Dennis and I feel we are definitely too old for some events in this world. Families, and I mean all families have issues, but dealing with alcohol is a no win. The “no win” is real and lasting and can be fatal. For the life of me, all other issues among family members is mute. Those issues are trivial and not life threatening. Dennis and I are so proud and happy to be parents of seven children, yes that includes Jeff, grandparents to ten and great grandparents to six, but our energies are needed for all of the family, not just for the one that pulls with one hand and pushes back with both hands.
The sun is out today and even if the temps are sub-zero, I pray that when Dennis comes home this evening he will feel okay. This weekend, as sad and emotionally draining as it was, still put Dennis in a place of having to be real with his child. No matter how often Jeff has put his dad through this, it never gets easier. I know that when Dennis does drop off Jeff, Jeff will know that we are not in, or up to, this type of a visit in the anywhere near future. On second thought, Jeff won’t get it.