A New Week, a New Day
It’s a new week, a new day and a new attitude for me.
Yesterday was some laundry, a batch of scones and prep work for supper . . . and then I bottomed out.
Yesterday afternoon, I had reach my capacity for giving, for caring and giving care. There comes a time when what is going on in a home and in a relationship feels one sided. As I sat in my chair and watched the Curling competition in the Olympics, a comment of Carrie’s came to me. “Mom, you have to take care of yourself first, not Dennis first.” Carrie had even gone one further and told Dennis’ oldest daughter, Denise, that she and Kevin would advocate for me and Dennis’ five children would need to advocate for Dennis. Ya . . . right.
Dennis has five submarine children. They surface when it suits them.
Since October we have been doctoring with two separate foot surgeries for Dennis and multiple trips to the Mankato hospital and clinic for after-care. Our dining room table would take first place in a health care kit contest. The incision wound is changed out every other night. We are now in the midst of a sinus infection. Don’t get me wrong, Dennis does not complain but there are a lot of “needs” in a 24 hour period. Sinus infections don’t allow for long stretches of sleep or a quiet home. It is not within me to turn my back. Dennis has seen me through a lot, but not with “hands on.” Moral support counts for those that can’t do.
Kevin was correct when he made a comment to me several years ago. He referenced that at that time Dennis may well have had an additional 10 years of life for the care he had received. I want that clock to continue ticking for Dennis, but I do get a timeout from time to time. Yesterday . . . I took it.
Tomorrow afternoon, we are going to see our family doctor to get some insight on the sinus situation. Dennis said he would abide with what is suggested. The only saving grace is that hopefully Dennis has been uncomfortable and miserable enough, he will take council. I should have him sign something.
As I said, a new day that brought the biggest most beautiful snowflakes ever. The little things in life can lift the soul and spirits if we are just open and allow them in. Perhaps being a caregiver is what God needs of me right now. I do go to my happy place for bursts of rejuvenation . . . my studio.