Here it is 4:45 on a beautiful sunny afternoon and I feel whipped. It may have something to do with the 4 a.m. rising time to get to a medical appointment for Dennis. Perhaps after the surgery that Dennis had this morning to remove plaque from his left carotid artery, that may allow the tempo here on Stauffer Avenue to be a bit calmer. When only 25% of blood flow reaches the brain via the carotid arteries, it can cause lack of cognitive awareness, imbalance while walking, and taking a pass on life as it happens moment by moment that continues into weeks and months. The surgery involved Dennis being alert and able to converse with the surgeon as the procedure was done. No chance of him sleeping through the procedure only to wake up thereafter and have had something happen that would have caused Dennis a loss of clear speech or being mentally confused. Lots of nerves in a tiny area that needed to be treated carefully. There had been pain blocking via IVs.
In my heart, I know some of what I am feeling today is relief in not having to watch where Dennis was. Was he on the floor of the garage, the driveway or not being able to remain sitting on the chair without slipping off onto the floor with him wondering after it was all over with as to “what happened?” When a flick of plaque would break off of the blockage, it would cause a TIA . . . a very small stroke.
It doesn’t matter how this slipped through the medical people that we had been working with for a very long time. What matters is that this afternoon Dennis has good color in his face. Dennis was smiling and laughing . . . which was all too seldom in the past months.
O.K. I admit it. It has been a singularly lifestyle here on Stauffer Avenue being on watch for what each day may bring and what each day would entail for the both of us. I believe I will sleep very peacefully tonight. Tomorrow when I return to the hospital, I want to see more of that smile.