Resilience
I can’t tell you how many time I have heard “you can always tell a German, you just can’t tell them much.” It’s a very strong hint that I am stubborn. I choose to label it as being resilient. I can’t imagine settling when I have it within me to fight for a quality of life that includes being independent and being resilient when there are some bumps in my health or day to day welfare. In recent times the bumps come along in the form of incisions and stitches.
Dennis and I have often commented to each other how independent we each are and that goes a long way as to why we make such a good team. Having adult children does not entitle us to depend upon them in our day to day lives. Oh yes, it’s very comforting and reassuring to have them check in with us because their care. We are not above accepting help from the kids when offered but they are not on our speed dial as first responders.
During the weeks of the shoulder surgery recovery I found new ways to accomplish all that was needed in routine housework in our home. Post-a-notes became a great way to jot down things that I would need help with when Dennis came home from his being out and about. This was not our first rodeo in regard to me recovering from surgery. When I had both of my knees replaced my home was where I wanted to be to begin recovery and not in a swing bed in a hospital. I am sure in the early days with both knees wrapped I wobbled through the house like the child of Frankenstein. The same was true with both of the independent shoulder replacements. The swing bed was offered each time and my answer was always a “NO”. A friend of mine opted for the swing bed option and they came home on day 13 after surgery. It is all in everyone’s level of confidence and comfort.
It could be called suborn but again I choose to call it resilience. I gave the surgeon my permission to do the surgery knowing I had the will to regain the strength that the surgery allowed. It is now in the stage that I don’t want to disappoint either of us. Often I not only think it but I have also said it out load: “if you think you can’t just hitch your bra strap one notch higher and go for it.” Well, in the case of the shoulders it was implied as there was no way I could manage to get a bra on let alone feel the pressure of the weight bearing undies.
Life is brighter everyday. Today I was able to take myself up to an eye doctor appointment and rejoiced that the torn retina from October is A.O.K. Today I was able to reach to the second shelf of the kitchen cabinets knowing that the muscle strain and tremor I felt was a sign that recovery is on target. I am sure that after physical therapy is complete I will be gaining strength being outside once the ice and refreezing of melting snow subsides. There are a ton of branches that need to be gathered up and then the peeking for plants that want to make their presents known.
Dennis is terrific letting me have my own head in doing what I strive to achieve. He does respect my resilience and he also knows that I don’t love him because I need him. I need him because I love him. That goes ditto for my kids.