A Big Fat Kiss
Today, I ran away from home solo.
I have been putting off taking a friend out for lunch for a long time. At the time I was working there were the three of us gals that had worked our way up to have the license of being county assessors. Doreen in Nicollet County, Judy on Brown County and myself in Watonwan County.
In between we shared flower gardening and checking out nurseries to see where the best flowers were sold.
I retired in 2009, Judy in 2010 and Doreen in 2011. Within a year of Judy’s retirement she was blind from macular. Within a year of Doreen’s retirement, she passed away from cancer. I had gotten teased about being steadfast with medical appointments.
I have kept up with Judy over the years traveling to their rural Madelia home . . . when Wayne wasn’t around. Wayne not being a favorite of mine as I had years to get his number. Last September Judy and Wayne moved into a rental townhome in Mankato at a time that Wayne needed knee replacement surgery. Wayne has protested this entire time. The one story townhome was so much easier for Judy to get around in rather than the old farm home that had steps to . . . everywhere.
Today, I did what I thought I couldn’t . . . I managed getting her out of her home complete with her walker, her white cane and me with my cane. I had picked up on this for some time, but after today, I know Judy is a victim of spousal abuse. Wayne goes out of his way to make Judy’s day less than comfortable. When I came home Dennis got a big fat kiss. Dennis knows Wayne from the assessor’s conferences that we all attended for decades.
I can’t do much for Judy other than be there for her. She has three children with one being a daughter that lives close to her mother in Mankato. Cindy stays in contact with her mom everyday via the phone. Cindy and her dad do not get along as Wayne makes sure that he is always present when Cindy comes to visit her mom and he thinks Cindy spoils her mom and takes sides. Do ya think! Judy wanted to talk to her doctor about her home life when she was to have a checkup. Wayne insisted and he followed right along in and Judy did not have a minute alone for the visit. Daughter Cindy called the clinic and read the nurse the riot act about doctor patient privacy. All I could do for Judy was to let her know if she did get an appointment with her doctor . . . it would be known to Wayne we were going out for coffee.
It drives the point home that we know so little about the lives others lead. It only takes a little crack and we feel helpless. Cracks are not a bad thing.