Stauffer Team
The day had no schedule. Early on, I knew that the home needed some TLC. There is just that moment when your vision is extremely clear and . . . you see it all! Dennis went about getting gas for the lawn mowing that we hoped to get in today. We were going to get it all done today.
I had all this angst energy and it couldn’t stay pent up. I know just where it stemmed from. Yesterday I attended Doreen’s funeral and I took Judy with me. The three of us had spent years together in courthouse work and in our private lives. The funeral was appropriate. I couldn’t grieve in saying goodbye to Doreen as I know how much she had suffered the last several years with the cancer.
The angst energy came from my day with Judy. Judy is blind from Macular Degeneration. Judy has had two small strokes in the recent years. Her energy is be savored. I can only imagine how much energy it takes to navigate the days when every step is uncertain, even within one’s own home. When I got to Judy’s home, her husband had already left to have coffee with his friends in town. Judy was ready and waiting for me. How could her husband not have given her a once over before he left to make sure that the clothing she had put on was clean of food spills. How could her husband not have made sure her hair was combed and set with a bit of hair spray. Judy was going out to spend the day with others that we had shared our work careers with. There would be countless of our working peers there all to remember Doreen’s life. Judy deserved to be ready and waiting in the best step forward her husband could have afforded her.
Judy couldn’t stand for long during the church service and she fell asleep in the one hour drive to her home. It was foreign to me to partially disassemble her walker that has a seat attached to it, but I got it in and out of the trunk when needed. As we were on the last step of their patio to enter the home with Judy and the walker, Judy’s husband opened the door and the first thing he said was “Are we out of club crackers? I’m hungry and haven’t had my noon lunch.” Hmm.
I would have stayed with Judy longer after we returned to her home, but I could not bring myself to spend anymore time with her husband. I have to acknowledge to myself that Judy is a vulnerable adult in her own home with a husband that is capable of much, but not honoring the life of his wife in her failing health. I have known Judy’s children since they have been toddlers. All five are now parents and even grandparents, some living very close by. You can bet your bottom dollar, I will share my concern with Judy’s daughter in a very caring visit. The family may be assuming things that are not to the mom’s best interest.
On a lighter, brighter note, we did get the yards mowed today. It looks so sharp outside. My angst is gone, my spirits are good,
and Dennis and I enjoyed some patio time after the Stauffer team was finished with the hard portion of the day. It did alleviate my angst by sharing with Dennis as he knows Judy and her husband. When Dennis went with me to conferences and took in spouse activities, Dennis was far, far away from Judy’s husband. As I headed into the house to make supper, I took note of the Fairfax Tulips that are coming into their own. There are more buds popping out and should give a good showing for some time.