It’s a Big Job
It is a daily challenge and a big job to live in grace, which in very simple terms means to live such that it is in favor with God. From the time I took four years of confirmation instructions from Pastor Martin Schultz in St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Stewart, Minnesota, my goal was to live my days in grace. How others live their days is not on me. This is my solo walk every day. I have slipped, I have tripped and I have fallen with definite injuries that have taken me out of favor with God — for that time. Every day I get a new chance and every day I strive for it being better than the one before.
So many personalities have crossed my path as my career choice was working with the public and generally an angry uptight public. No one likes having to pay taxes and who better to blame than the gal standing behind the counter where it all takes place. For no reason or worth, I have kept some of the letters that were written to me with the complete gamut of name calling and some threats. It was my job to let the venting go until it was spent. I did my job with God’s guiding hand and at the end of my career I could meet and great those that had been the angry people. I worked to find a common ground to meet them on at the time of the altercation. I stepped back and allowed them to step forward in a manner that gave them their dignity back so their lashing out had not defined them. I wanted to treat them with grace and they deserved to be treated with grace even through their less than good moments.
Now in retirement my world is quieter and more gentle. When Dennis and I can help out the family we give 100%. That’s not on anyone else’s scale other than ours. We all have individual potential. We do sometimes amaze ourselves as to what we can handle. It may not have always been easy and our comfort zone has had to expand much like the blown up balloons right before they pop. Being on board for whatever we volunteer for or to meet the request does not mean that we will sacrifice what our core beings (morals and ethics) are. We work hard to step up to do the tasks well with happy results ensuing. Happy is always a good thing. We want to help our families while we are still physically able, but more important we want to help our families while living in grace. A lesson we have learned is to let go of disappointment and turn it to forgiveness — “they know not what they do.”
Dennis is going to be celebrating his 77th birthday next month 
and I am still closer to being 69 than 70 — whew! Our track record with family is pretty darn amazing. Dennis has been given the position of being the “go to” person for his four nephews in addition to his own five children. The nephew’s fathers were called home to God at much younger ages than Dennis is now. Many times “Uncle Dennis” is called upon for moral support. Dennis does it well and he does it while living in grace.
With my family living farther away than a stone’s throw, I rely on keeping up to date via whatever piece of technology is at hand. They know I am only a call away and the car always has a full tank of gas in the event I must go — and go now.
The years I spent with my Mom after Dad passed away were the sweetest years and I am so thankful to have experienced them, sometimes in laughter, sometimes in tears. Mom charged on in life for an additional 18 years without her partner. She met each challenge for all she was worth and never a complaint was heard. Her life lived in grace impacted many then as well as now and I know also going forward into the future. It was not easy to watch her become more like a child than a parent, but come on, I still had her in my life. Being with Mom and living her experiences right beside her to the end was a window into what my own world will hold for me someday. Talk about a reality check. My heart would break for her as I could feel her discomfort, her pain, her embarrassments, her memory losses 
and her impatience as her quality of life became less. I lived my Mom’s last years with grace. How could I not have? I didn’t have that chance of being with my Dad in his last years of needing elder care as he was taken from us in literally a heartbeat.
I may be misunderstood at times, I may be a disappointment to one or many at times — it matters not. How could these times not happen? Though I am a child of God I am a sinner, thanks to Adam in the garden of Eden. I own who I am and I own what I am and I accept myself right up to the time the reactions of my actions may cause me pain. That double edged sword of actions happens to each and every one of us. It is up to me to take what life has in store for me with just as many ups as there are downs. I keep a sense of humor and know when to forgive myself when it is warranted, all the while taking my life’s job very seriously. I walk daily in the biggest challenge of my life — grace.
In life, please remember to give with no remembrance, or take and remember it always.